She came charging toward me from her car as I briefly glanced at my left-side mirror. I got out, walked toward her, and immediately began to apologize. She was shocked, shaken, and angry. “Oh, my new car! I just got that car,” she kept lamenting.

I offered to pay for the damage. I hit her when I backed my car into her. I was definitely at fault and I felt guilty. First things first, I checked on Matthew in the back. He was fine, mesmerized by his chocolate Kinder bar and enjoying it to the fullest.

I stopped her from talking and asked her if she, not the car, was okay. “You look very shaken up,” I stated. “I just got this car,” she replied. I kept apologizing and at some point, I said something stupid, “I looked at my son, sorry.“

As she continued to be shaken up, I stopped her and looked at the damage. There was a chip here and there and a scratch, or two. “Oh, that can be fixed, probably around 250 or 300 dollars,” I said. I asked her again, “Are you okay, for sure?” She replied, “Yes, just the noise,” and then started talking again about the car and asked, “Where did you come from?” I showed her the parking spot on the opposite side, saying, “What do you mean? From there.“

Everything would have been fine, but as she calmed down and more facts surfaced, things started to be different between us. Let me go back.

That day, we were shopping at the Superstore. We came out of the store, loaded groceries in the back, and then pushed the cart to the cart booth. We returned to the car, with Matthew tagging along. He crawled into the back, I strapped him in, and inspected his seat belt.

We always take the time to ensure he is well secured. I kissed him, gave him Kinder, and came out. In the parking lot, there was nearly nobody. No cars parked beside me. On the opposite side, I noted one older red car on the right side just beside the shopping cart booth. Further, there was a car, but I did not pay attention. The car was far enough to clear the turn.

I backed out of the parking spot, turning my wheel clockwise. I kept backing until I was almost straight. As I was almost ready to switch gears, suddenly it felt like I touched something. I really did not feel that much of an impact. Or something hit me?

I looked back and saw the roof of another car and the rest was on the left side. “Oh crap, I hit something” – I said to myself. In the process of backing out of the parking spot, I did look at Matthew in the peripheral vision to ensure he was okay. I guess that is why I said “I looked at my son” and when you are in shock, you do sometimes say stupid things, and later it fired back at me too.

The rest you already know what happened.

When she finally calmed down, she asked what we should do. Should we call the police? Whose fault is this? I said, “No, no we cannot call the police for that,” because the damage was under $750, and it was. They wouldn’t come. I’m sure the police have worse cases to deal with. I really didn’t know what to do, so I suggested we take some time to think it over. We exchanged phone numbers and license plate information, and I was still under the assumption that it was all my fault.

Then the turning point.

She asked, “But who is at fault? We both were backing out.” This is when I finally realized. I looked around me and yes, I never drove into the opposite parking spaces as I assumed. I looked at her car, she was about 2-3 feet out of the parking spot. She was backing out too.

I looked at her and said, “I guess we are both at fault.” Not a single time throughout the conversation did I say to her that it was her fault only. I may have said you collided with me, but never that it was her fault. I was definitely backing out and no doubt still moving. But I had no witness to prove that she was moving too, only that her damage had drag marks. I collided straight back so my damage would have been a dent in her bumper. I said, “Let’s think about it.” She started to point fingers, “I think it is your fault. I ‘think’ I was stopped and you hit me and you said you were looking at your son,”– she stated.

I ignored her statements. I finally decided to look at my bumper. I had a dirt scratch right in the middle. I started to clean. “I don’t think I did this,” she pointed. “Did what?” – I asked. “This dent.” “Oh I am not cleaning this dent, it was there, it’s this here,” – I said.

I said to her if we both were backing out then we are both at fault. I also told her, if I fix your car who will fix my car then. “It is your fault, you hit me, I ‘think’ that I was not moving,” – she started to stick to her story.

“Well, let’s think about it, I have to go” – at this point I wasn’t ready to take the blame for something I did not do, and plus I started to be annoyed by her accusations. I left home to dig out more information on how we should proceed. As I was driving home, I thought we may call or go to the police collision centre and ask for their opinion to resolve. Matthew in the back asked, “Mommy, were you talking to your friend?” I replied, “No, Matthew, I hit her. How could she be my friend?“

I got home, made notes and a sketch, and called her again to ask if she was okay. I suggested we should get a professional opinion. “Like who?” she asked. I said, “The police.” “Okay, let’s go,” she replied defensively. I told her to calm down and let’s resolve this professionally.

Then I said, “After all, you were backing out and you hit me too.” “I hit you?” she replied angrily. “Well, I was already out of the parking lot and almost ready to drive away, and then you came out in my blind spot. How could you not possibly be moving if you were about two feet out of the parking spot?” I told her I wanted to resolve this fairly. She said she would talk to her husband and call me back. I hung up the phone. This all happened approximately between 12:45 pm and 1:15 pm.

Dinner passed. No call from her. Evening snack. No call from her.

I called the York Region Police collision centre the next morning. Listening to the nature of the collision, the lady on the phone told me to call my insurance company. So I called, and they advised me to complete the loss report. My damage was nearly invisible, so I told them that I would not be claiming damages. The loss report was for record only. They told me to collect the other individual’s information and call them back. If I did not, they said they would call me back. She explained that for my sake, I should file the report. You never know what the other person may do. She was right.

Morning breakfast passed. No call from her.

I finally called her around lunch and asked her what she decided. She told me that she was waiting for her insurance adjuster to come and assess the damage. So much for communicating and calling me back, I thought. I said that is fair. I will do the same, just my insurance needed more of your personal information. She said, “But you have to give me yours.” Sure, I had no issue with that. But then she said she would call me back.

In a couple of minutes, she called back and further declined to give the information. I said that during the accident, by law, you have to give me the information. Her reply was, “Then you should have collected it at the time of the accident.” Fair enough. She gave me the information of her insurance expert though.

Things got little up tight. Out of no where she said, “You hit me, and you said you were talking to your son, and now you changing your story.” I never changed the story, she did, especially when she changed from ‘looked at’ to ‘talking to’ Matthew. I asked her, “Did you even look inside to see how old was he?” I stated with anger.

For the record, during the accident she never even asked if I was okay or my son. All she could care was her ‘brand new car’ and was on the mission to put all blame on me.

I never changed my story, she did. I only changed my mind. I wasn’t going to take the 100% fault for this collision when I recognized her objective.

“You go and talk to your expert and I will talk to mine,”– I hung up the phone angry.

I never called her insurance expert. I called my insurance company to file the collision report. Next day they called back and closed the file. They said that they called the other person and she is fine. Because we both were backing out it was 50-50% fault.

I was right and I felt better. My insurance rate will probably increase. Hers too. She will get her bum-per fixed still paying 50% of her deductible.

Both sides happy. Lesson learned. When the collision is minor and occurs in a parking lot, simply exchange information and head to the Collision Reporting Centre.

Hopefully, there won’t be a next time, but if there is, I’ll handle it more wisely. It’s not easy dealing with someone who only cares about their car. Only mature people understand what truly matters, and material things aren’t one of them.

COMMENTS

Marvin said: October 26, 2011 at 23:51

“I’m glad you and Matthew are okay! I don’t think I’ve had an accident with another person. I know the rule is, don’t discuss anything, don’t talk about what happened, just get the person’s license plate and insurance information. If you talk more than that, you get in an argument, just like what happened to you.”

James said: October 27, 2011 at 20:33

“That’s too bad, Anna. The hassle of dealing with people sometimes is worse than the original problem. Glad it’s not dragging on.”