Really, what should I do next? The Banner on April 5th, 2011 informed me and probably the rest of the Aurora world of a wonderful water rate hike. I was pleased with the town working on bringing the tax rate down, but I am not pleased with the water hike. If it is true that “The potential 9.95 percent combined hike in water and wastewater rates will cost the average family, which uses about 400 cubic meters per year, an extra $92.59 annually,” then no wonder we are happy with the tax rate of 4.35 percent where “For an average Aurora property assessed at $300,000, this will mean a $0.13 daily increase in taxes, a monthly hike of $3.93, and an annual tax impact of $47.19” – as reported by The Auroran, Week of March 29, 2011 Vol 11. No. 22. Next time the town pulls a trick like that on me, I would appreciate the bad news before the good news; otherwise, healthcare in Canada will suffer.
I would like to extend my thanks and no thanks to The Banner for a wonderful set of water-saving tips. Obviously, tremendous effort was put into the list, but sorry, I am already applying them all and running very lean. My mind is already working on the next generation set of water-saving tips. The next generation sounds sophisticated, but to your surprise, you will be back to basics with my assembled water savings ideas for now.
1. Collect the rainwater. You can use it to water plants inside and outside, water the grass, wash cars, and even fill up a small swimming pool or take a relaxing bath (only in summer). Before taking a bath, make sure to do a body water sprinkle test. If you experience irritation, do not proceed. Do not drink this water as it does not meet the requirements of the Safe Drinking Water Act, which was enacted after the 2000 Walkerton tragedy.
2. Carry a plastic container with you (not that one!). When you are at work, the fitness centre, a public place, or Tim Hortons, fill up some extra water before heading home. The costs are usually passed on to consumers, so why not pass them back?
3. If you like to work out at the fitness centre, in addition to the above, make sure to leave clean. Use their showers to come home clean. Remember, time is time, whether now or later, it’s the same time in a different location. If for some reason you don’t shower after working out, keep it to yourself – nobody needs to know.
4. When nature calls, go out to nature and visit Jerry on the job. Portable toilet systems can be found around town and outside of town. Don’t worry, Jerry is usually not on the job anyway. A word of advice – you may want to bring your own toilet paper, just in case. Remember, when entering a construction site, it is at your own risk. Avoid using your phone, reading a newspaper, or listening to your iPod – listen to the sounds around you. I said sounds around you, not your own sounds!
5. If you have children and they like to play in the water, find another neighbour and ask if your children can come and play in their pool. Leave a penny in the water afterwards to appreciate their service. Pennies will be obsolete sooner or later, so here is a way to use them up.
6. Remember, the more you plaster yourself with makeup, deodorant, hairsprays, and perfumes, the more showers you may have to take. I can guarantee that if you eliminate all of the above, you will stay fresh and clean for days. Not to mention the savings on the above items in addition to water savings. Note, if you don’t feel fresh, let the rain and wind freshen you up. Also, start using the designated water cup when you brush your teeth – it’s there for a reason, not just to hold your toothbrush.
7. If you drank too much and need to use the restroom, try the European style, or you know what I mean. Please be discreet though, as I already blush when people show affection in public. Ladies, this may not be for you, as there may be too much going on in the bushes.
8. For those who own a swimming pool, let the rain fill it up for you. Unfortunately, you may be waiting a long time if you have a big one. You can always ask your neighbour for extra rainwater. Note that rainwater may be polluted, but then chlorine water is not any better for you.
9. Kill two or three birds with one stone. If you are a family of three or four people, then line up to use the washroom and flush the toilet once or twice only. I guarantee you will cut the water use in half, but I don’t guarantee a decrease in the stink factor.
10. Reduce and reuse your clothes. Instead of washing clothes frequently, just hang them outside to freshen them up. Your neighbour will think you are super clean.
11. Another way to reduce your laundry is to wash before going to bed instead of after getting out of bed. Your bed sheets will stay clean longer. On a side note, I still don’t understand the morning shower thing. Why would you go to sleep dirty?
12. Drink less, oh what the heck.
13. Reduce and reuse your shower water. This requires some plumbing work by connecting the drain pipe from the upstairs shower to the downstairs shower. Depending on how sophisticated you want the design to be, the simple way is to have two people take a shower at the same time, one upstairs and the second downstairs having a shower from the rinse water of the first person. I think you know what I mean. This retrofit is not required if you have a mate.
14. I could go on and on, but then I found that we don’t have a meter for water output. How stupid is that? Why should I pay for the same volume consumed versus drained? Theoretically, the household will not drain the same water it consumes. Think, you drink at home and go to the washroom at work, you water plants so they grow, you water the garden outside, you wash a car. It all goes to the ground, and why should I pay for someone who flushes the toilet more than me. Oh, I get it – we all get billed equally. There goes my idea of watering the grass with shower water.
This message is intended to avoid causing offence. It simply reflects my approach to dealing with stress caused by increasing prices. Ultimately, I have no other option but to pay the bill.
COMMENTS
Michael said: April 12, 2011 at 08:29
“Kudos on a hilarious post. Perhaps the town will post it on their Notice Board in the Tuesday Banner as a public service announcement.”
